Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Top 10 Things In Sports That Suck

I am introducing a new column called 'Top 10 Things In Sports', a new weekly thing that I will do.  Here is your list of the Top 10 things in sports that we are tired of hearing about, we hate, or just plain suck.

With that, let the sucking begin.

#10 NFL's Ban on Celebrations
The league's new rule that stops players like Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens use their creativity and grace for celebrating should be considered a crime.  Let the men spread their wings a little - no props allowed? that's just stupid.

# 9 ESPN's Hot Seat
At first the Hot Seat was cool and somthing new, but now is like a boring desk job - the same everyday.  For those who aren't familiar, the Hot Seat is a daily portion on SportsCenter where a guest is asked questions by an ESPN guy.  One of the main problems is when
 Skip Bayless who, by the way,is only a few spots out of this list, is in charge.  Instead of asking the other person their opinions, he just argues with them and hardly lets them get in a sentence.

#8 Yankees vs. Red Sox Rivalry
The most overrated and over-reported rivalry in all of sports.  The New York Yankees play the Boston Red Sox about fourteen times every season, but I don't care.  Every off-season is like a prime-time drama for these teams, and every year they add more big names to the two evil empires.  Please refer to what America's new immigration policy should be if you have any questions.

#7 Congress
Leave my sports alone Congress, no one wants you guys to intervene with stuff you have no idea about.  As if senators weren't happy enough with ruining our country, now they have to take away our sports.  Congress, go back home, and save some rain-forests or something.

#6 NFL Players' Arrests
Michael Vick, Jamal Lewis, Pacman Jones, Chris Henry, Tank Johnson, David Boston - the list goes on.  Whatever happened to professional athletes being good role models for kids because in the NFL, that has definitely gone down the drain lately.  Great job, Roger Goodell!

#5 Spygate
I really hope everyone knows that all NFL teams spy on other teams because if you don't, than get outta the bubble that you live in.  I don't want to hear about Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots.  They were in the news everyday in the fall because of their chase for perfection; I don't want to see their ugly faces on ESPN's front page everyday in the spring too.

#4 Steroids in Baseball
Baseball players do steroids, why can't people just accept that.  No one cares about Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds anymore; sure they are cheaters, but so is half of America.  And in case anyone was wondering Bud Selig is part of the problem and just adding fuel to the fire.

#3 NFL Network
The only reason the NFL Network is ranked higher than Bryant Gumbel, is because they have other employees; it still sucks.  It really stinks for the fans of the NFL because the league sure doesn't care if anyone sees the NFL Network games.  You would think with all of the money they are getting for the high subscription rates that they could afford more than about four cameras for live broadcasts.

#2 BCS
As the 2007-2008 college football season proved, the Bowl Championship Series is one of the biggest jokes in all of sports.  Letting voters decide the fate of top teams with no playoff system is absolutely ridiculous, but don't worry sports fans.  If there are more years like this past one, a playoff will have to become closer to a reality... eventually.

#1 Bryant Gumbel 
Is there really any question whether or not the younger Gumbel brother is the worst sports announcer of all-time?  I could name about 100 (million) people that could do a better job than him.  He talks too much, interrupts the other commentators, and thinks he is the most important, but to put it simply, Bryant Gumbel couldn't commentate his way out of a paper bag.  This past season's Green Bay Packer - Dallas Cowboy game displayed him at his very finest, claiming that Romo was both the quarterback for the Packers and first name is Rick.  Rick Romo is sure to have great success in the NFL...

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

Players thanking God for their performance. As if God really cares that you just won the big game!

Anonymous said...

Hot sideline reporters being allowed to speak. Erin Andrews may be hot, but she's dumber than a box of rocks. Just stand there and look hot. That's all the TV viewers want from you bims.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for mentioning Gumbel as your #1. I turned off the Cowboys/Packers game in the 3rd quarter because i could not stand him. I eventually watched the game on mute and listened to a radio broadcast. At least the radio announcers could get names/teams correct. Oh, can we get another shot of Brett Favre?

Anonymous said...

How about "The Wave?" Do fans hate sports so much that they would rather watch people standing up and then sitting back down rather than watching the game?

Richard K. said...

My top 10:

10. NHL on OLN
9. Joe Buck
8. "Star" basketball players that dont play defense
7. Owners ability to blackmail cities for new stadiums
6. Congress
5. NFL quarterbacks not named Brady/Manning/Romo (they are god awful)
4. Teams with 1-15 records raising ticket prices
3. College fans sitting down during games
2. Women that wear pink to games
1. The BCS

Anonymous said...

Um, Erin Andrews knows her shit, and she's pretty much the only attractive sideline reporter out there. You sir are the one who's dumb as rocks.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous #2 you shut your mouth when talking about Erin Andrews, There is no college sideline reporter that comes close to her knowledge of the game and actually enjoys being around the fans. You sir are the dumbest person in the world. You should be banned from talking about sports or watching. Such tomfoolery is not acceptable.

Anonymous said...

Oh, look Anonymous #2, you pissed off a couple of women...
Pissed off women - that's certainly something in sports that suck.

Ian said...

A few I think were left out in no particular order:

- Isiah Thomas
- Unbalanced NBA Situation
- Allowing College Basketball players to enter the NBA without ever having to attend a class (we know it happens)
- Very poor NHL marketing after the lockout
- DRAMATIC overpaying of athletes

Anonymous said...

Erin Andrews is hardly dumb as a box of rocks. I've seen her doing her sideline thing and she seems to be pretty knowledgeable about the sports she's covering.

Anonymous said...

Erin Andrews at the Little League World Series...you knew exactly who had gone through puberty and who hadn't. As for Gumbel...I hate him, but I hate Joe Buck so much more. Gumble may think he is important, but Joe Buck has the most perceived self-importance in all of sport

Anonymous said...

I watched a game the Gumble was commentating on and he claimed the field goal was good after the officals waved their hands that it was wide right...he's really bad. Worse than Dennis Miller

Anonymous said...

The WNBA!

Anonymous said...

Can't believe WNBA didn't make the list.

Anonymous said...

10. Player's salaries
9. Not enough NHL games on TV
8. Cheating (steriods, spygate)
7. Joe Buck
6. Congress
5. ESPN monopoly on sports
4. Dan Snyder
3. Dick Vitale
2. Ticket Prices
1. Yankee and Red Sox fans

Anonymous said...

How about the cost of a ticket along with parking, food, and souveniers? When the people in sports are talking about how much they love the fans, and especially the kids, do they ever consider how much it costs for a family of four to attend a game?

Anonymous said...

1. Long time sucky teams like the Detroit Lions.
2. College and professional sports ticket prices.
3. When your team totally chokes (blows a big lead) and loses.
4. Bad calls by the referees.
5. Games shown at odd times due to pandering to tv--either too early or way too late.
6. Athletes that are unmotivated or get into trouble with the law even though they are highly paid or on full scholarship.
7. Drunk and/or obnoxious fans.
8. Announcers who won't shut up--especially when they are blabbing about something other than the game itself!
9. Endless timeouts and worse--commercials!
10. Injuries.

Anonymous said...

Sports fans bashing players for thanking God... As if we care what morons think...

Anonymous said...

More suckage…..


Team owners pandering to the memories of dead announcers (see Chicago Cubs)
Whooshing noises to go with every cheesy Xbox graphic on Fox Sports telecasts
Seat licenses
Tim McCarver, aka “Captain Obvious”
Clearing the house between games for the rare doubleheader
Metal baseball bats
“Premium” ticket pricing for games someone actually wants to see
Constant cutting to shots of players’ wives
Batting gloves
Trick shot pool telecasts

jif324 said...

The fact that Baylor, Duke, and other annually bad football teams get to take a BCS conference roster spot while teams like Tulsa, Boise State, Fresno State have trouble scheduling top opponents and get the BCS shaft beacuse they were not around 30+ years ago when these "power" conferences were formed.

Anonymous said...

Joe Buck only sucks when he's announcing football. Baseball, he's alright. Maybe some of that McCarver suckiness is spilling over in your mind.

Anonymous said...

This list contradicts itself. You said football players are role models and they shouldn't be getting into trouble. Well, that is why congress is getting involved in the steroid scandal. I agree that the spygate probe is pointless, but it is necessary for them to get involved in the baseball steroid issue.

So how can you say just live with the fact that baseball players take steroids. They are role models as well.

Anonymous said...

Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith have got to be on this list. All they do is yell.

Anonymous said...

It sucks that ESPN will show Bowling, Spelling Bees, Pool and Poker, but not the NHL.

And as awesome as NHL Network is, please find some more sponsors. Watching the same commercails over and over and over and over ... well, you get the point.

KevinC said...

#10 Fans who complain about players salaries. Guess what? They get paid exactly what you get paid -- as much as someone will pay them.
#9 Fans who complain about ticket prices. If it's too much, don't buy the tickets and the prices will come down.
#8 Fans who complain about athletes not having any moral character AND about players thanking God.
#7 Fans who complain about the NHL not being on ESPN. Do you know why it's not on ESPN, or any other major network. Because it's f'ing boring and no one wants to watch it.
#6 Everybody that hated Barry Bonds for cheating but now that it's Roger Clemens says "What's the big deal, everybody does it, let's move on."
#5 Coaches, and fans too, that complain about calls being horrendous, but only when it goes against their team. Just once
I'd love to hear a coach say,"Man, that pass interference call that put us in position for the game winning field goal sure was a crappy call wasn't it. What the hell is wrong with those refs?"
#4. Jon Miller. I feel bad for Joe Morgan that he is stuck with that guy.
#3. That stupid f'ing jumping robot football player during the fox games.
#2. Announcers calling an end-around a reverse and a reverse a double-reverse.
#1. People who make Top 10 Lists. They should all be shot. Oh, wait...

Anonymous said...

How about cheating athletes demanding outlandish contracts, draft picks becoming the highest paid at their position without every playing a snap in the NFL, and trick shot bowling on ESPN are you F"IN KIDDING ME!! Bring back NATIONAL HOCKEY NIGHT

Anonymous said...

I would def. change 2 and 3. BCS sucks but not as much as the NFL Network. Millions of people couldnt see Cowboys/Packers this year...and im still mad!

I would also add Texas A&M somewhere on this list...but they suck at life...not just sports so i understand why they were left out.

Anonymous said...

10. Women Sports other than ones where they are in a bikini.
9. Patriots
8. Steroids
7. Fans who don't respect Erin Andrews
6. Favre. Let the man retire in piece. I'm sure he is tired of hearing about himself.
5. Players that aren't motivated or that get arrested. Being paid millions of dollars a year is enough motivation to keep me out of jail.
4. No Salary Cap in baseball. It's hard to root for the home team if they are in a small market because they can't compete with the Yankees salary.
3. Not enough football games nationally televised. They should have a NFL game nationally televised 5 days a week.
2. Hockey. I'd rather watch the NFL Draft all day than a 3 hour hockey game.
1. BCS

Neil Joshi said...

congrats on making si extra mustard, nice work

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more, especially about Congress and Steriods. Excellent list!!! I would only add that Gumbel and Bayliss share the same spot on the list.

Jeremy said...

Stephen A. Smith is the worse. I can't watch anything he is on he gives me a headache.

Anonymous said...

Hey Aggie hating anonymous guy, go ingest some illicit narcotics and engage in sexual intercourse with a person of your own gender.

Anonymous said...

How about the NHL? Let's just get rid of it already.

Anonymous said...

Troy Aikman... has to be the worst. Troy, come out of the closet, Troy. Be proud to be a gay man Troy, it OK.

And Godddddddddddddddamn it, does anyone say "I mean" any more in a lifetime than this moron does in a 3 hours NFL snorefest?

It's enough to make a man prefer the AFC teams.

Anonymous said...

#1. Players demanding to be traded and/or renegotiating a contract...When is an athalete going to give money back when he doesn't live up to a contract? Are you listening, Webber, MArbury, HAmpton, etc...

Anonymous said...

1. The Calgary Flames
2. The Calgary Flames
3. The Calgary Flames
4. The Calgary Flames
5. The Calgary Flames
6. The Calgary Flames
7. The Calgary Flames
8. The Calgary Flames
9. The Calgary Flames
10. The Calgary Flames

Anonymous said...

its 7:35PM

...and the aggies STILL sucks.

Anonymous said...

Bettman. Plain and simple - the root of all evil.

Anonymous said...

Things that suck in sports

Directv having exclusive rights to NFL Sunday Ticket. I can watch football all day, but can't watch the shows they advertise on the commercials. Then those guys nickel and dime me to death. And the signal goes out during hard rain.

Anonymous said...

1. Calling ESPN2 the "deuce"
2. ESPN and ESPN 2 showing basketball at the same time.
3. Stephen A. Smith, an obnoxious jerk.
4. Tony Kornhiser. He makes Theismann look like a young Pat Summerall.
5. Football players dancing after they do something good. You're getting paid millions, you should be playing good.
6. ESPN showing BS like poker. What next, two hours of a dog sleeping?
7. People using the phrase "What so and so brings to the table."
8. Sports shows that act like all male sports fans are illiterate, foul mouthed, 12 year olds.
9. Chris Berman's idiotic nick names.
10. NFL announcers giving us Einsteinian analysis like "If the Bills are going to win today, they need to avoid turning the ball over."

Anonymous said...

1. Super Bowl halftime show, Media Day, MVP voting....too much hype
2. NFL regular season games outside of the US
3. Spygate
4. Kornheiser on Monday Night Football
5. NFL Network and BIG CABLE!!!
6. Mel Kiper Jr., Todd McShay and other draftniks that make the dumbest analysis on college players, especially small-college guys (I swear these draftniks bring up the small college guys just so they sound smart)
7. Pro Bowl
8. Dan Snyder
9. Personal seat licensing
10. The Raiders in the last 5 years

Anonymous said...

1. Bryant Gumbel
2. Joe Buck
3. Skip Bayless
4. Sean Salisbury
5. Joe Theismann
6. Bill Walton
7. 2 Live Stews
8. Terence Moore
9. John Madden
10. Billy Packer

Anonymous said...

bitch, bitch, bitch

Anonymous said...

The MNF announcing team SUCKS! Especially when the start plugging Disney Movies while the game is in progress.

Anonymous said...

Thanking God is like thanking my sister...

Anonymous said...

People who bash the NHL who don't actually watch the sport and don't realize that it's one of the best well rounded sports to watch. Fast pace (sorry baseball), physical game with hitting (sorry basketball) and most continuous action (sorry football). And unlike soccer, when a player gets hurt, he's actually hurt. And usually gets up to continue play.

Anonymous said...

Football announcers who feel the need to tell us about their fantasy football teams. Are you kidding me? I doubt there's a single fan out there who has the least bit of interest in Kornheiser's fantasy team.

Anonymous said...

1. Bryant Gumbel
1a. Skip Bayless

CoachB88 said...

I sersiously think that the commercialism of sports (college bowl season in particular) is the number one thing in sports that sucks... I dont know how many times i've seen that commercial with those rock 'em sock 'em character but that commercial is pernmantly engraved in my memory thanks to the commercial breaks every 2-3 minutes during the bcs bowl season... and #2 on the list would be the space betweeen the regular season and the bowls... as a spectator and a coach... it just sucks!!!!!

Anonymous said...

-ESPN’s obsession with the NFL. I love football but can’t stand hearing the same shit over and over and over again.

-Joe Theisman and Sean Salisbury, complete morons (Wikipedia’s definition – a person with a mental age between 8 and 12)

-SKIP BAYLESS!!! I can’t think of words to explain how terrible and annoying he is. I hope ESPN knows every time I see his face I turn the channel and hope everyone else does too because you are just dumber after listening to the shit that comes out of his mouth.

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Anonymous said...

how did Mike Tirico not make anyone's list. That guy is the worst announcer in the history of sports. Its like he's disappointed that he has to interrupt his own bullshit to call the game.

Angus Mcjockeyfart said...

You're right, politicians should stay the hell out of sports!
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